The cycle of narcissistic abuse is certainly a confusing one. It's defined by periods of TENSION, INCIDENT, RECONCILIATION and CALM. So what this really means, is that part of abuse includes the highs, the togetherness, the peaceful calm that seems oh so much sweeter because there's also a great flip side that comes with it all: tension (often seemingly out of nowhere or for the most confusing or irrational of things!) and incident - where allllll the drama and darkness bewilderingly unfolds.

At a fundamental level, experiencing the narcissistic abuse cycle undermines your own sense of reality and self trust. But for those experiencing it, it is typical to go round the cycle many many times before the incident side becomes so dark, so draining that getting away becomes a matter of necessity to save yourself. 

It isn't cross-sectional data, but we did a tally of clients and found that an overwhelming ~80% who experienced narcissistic abuse in adult life also experienced abuse as a child, usually due to a narcissistic or toxic parent (mother or father), step parent, sibling or grandparent. Experiencing abuse by a parent in particular sets you up to being vulnerable to repeat experiences of abuse in adulthood, usually in a romantic relationships. This is because, without doing the inner work, we keep subconsciously seeking out a life partner who reflects the same negative traits of our own parents that wounded us. Unconsciously, we are seeking to somehow project our issues and heal them through this person but importantly, much of expecting this sort of treatment from an intimate partner is second nature and an indicator of our own underlying levels of self worth.

With a history of cold, abusive or neglectful parenting, getting reeled back in to the narcissistic abuse cycle can be so toxic because of all these subconscious drivers and self reflections.

The most effective way to END the internal cycle that keeps attracting more of the same in to your life, is to work with the subconscious mind (why I use hypnosis!) to identify the weeds, uproot them plant better thought patterns!

Experiencing abuse comes with a myriad of post-traumatic symptoms that has debilitating personal implications. The more you are experiencing a hurricane of issues in the aftermath and fallout of an abusive relationship, the more essential and timely it is that you engage with effective help to start lifting your energy, building resilience and boundaries.  

At the extreme end of the range in the aftermath of abuse, turning around the mess you are undergoing can feel like pulling the titanic out of the ocean. For others, the abuse has long since past, perhaps it was a narcissistic parent in childhood who hurt you, however the lasting impact, effects on your self esteem, triggers and symptoms just keep coming back.

Over the Elevate with Forestt program, your symptoms get ranked, rated and systematically tracked so you can measure your progress with one foot in front of the next.

Here's Forest's starting point to help you assess where you are at in overcoming narcissism and toxic abuse:

1 - 3 symptoms - you are so, so close to the other side but there's some niggly stuff holding you back from really ROCKING at life! Remember that being able to go through abuse and come out the other end balanced, healthy and in-check is huge testament to the skills and you have no doubt built extraordinary resilience. Write down the aspects you still suffer from. What message do you think your subconscious mind is trying to send to you, to keep these issues perpetuating for you?

4 - 9 symptoms - You've come a long way but there's more work to be done. What issues bother you the most? Of all these symptoms, what is the number 1 issue that you need to resolve? 

10 - 14 symptoms - It's time for you to start dreaming a better life. How would your life be if you felt, in every cell of your body, that you are truly enough? What would you be able to do with that innate sense of peace and confidence that permeated through all areas of your life? I have absolute confidence that you too can live a life where you genuinely feel this way the majority of the time. I've seen countless personal transformations and know that this way is perfectly accessible to you too! 

14+ symptoms - I'm so sorry you are suffering this way. You need to accept this message right now: you truly deserve to live a better life and you are absolutely worth it. The truth is that even I have felt all of this, I've been to the absolute lowest points imaginable, but through my own work and skills in therapy I worked my way out and you can too! I want you to imagine in your mind a little newborn baby.. how gorgeous and special and absolutely loveable is that little Bub? Would you ever walk in to a maternity ward and look at all the little newborn babies and say, "oh that baby over there isn't loveable but this one here is". Absolutely not! Here's a perspective for you - when you were a newborn, regardless of personal circumstance, you were absolutely loveable and enough, it was coded in to you. Let's get you back to the real you :)

Have you suffered due to a toxic relationship? Did you have a narcissistic or abusive mother or father or step parent? Or for many of my clients, they went through multiple experiences of abuse, both in their childhood and adults lives.

I believe that life is just FAR TOO SHORT to always be in therapy. Through serving clients with RTT Hypnotherapy in my Melbourne, Australia office, I started to see a desperate need to systematically address all the unique issues that people who have experienced abuse suffer and the numerous therapeutic challenges they face as a result.  

I created this specialist program - Elevate with Forestt - that incorporates RTT hypnotherapy with the right tools, support and insights to deeply help my clients get in to the DRIVERS SEAT of their mind and start making profound, rapid and lasting change to their very way of being!

One of the most debilitating aspects of abuse for so many of my clients was the painfully low self esteem, the trust and social issues.. then all the hang ups, the rumination, the flash backs and over-focus on the past events and the abuser(s) that my client had! Being stuck on someone who hurt you, having flash backs to all that horror, is NO WAY TO LIVE!

Accepting the need to help your self, and choosing to VALUE YOURSELF to change is the most beautiful gift you can give to you. Studies show that suffering prolonged abuse, whether in your childhood or adult life, changes your very biochemistry for the worse, throwing your hormonal makeup out of balance and creating a physiological system of chemical addiction to stress within your body. 

If this is you, then you need to claim a profound shift in life. Life is too short, you absolutely deserve the best guidance and support for your self in doing so. What many people don't realise, it that the only way you can make this positive shift is by going in to the operating system of your subconscious mind and uprooting the patterns that are holding you back.